“… Margaret- no, Margaret I- MAGGIE calm down! … A bag of what? … So let them out. … Oh. Hmm. Well do you think they were alive when- OK! Look, it’s just interesting. Don’t call me to tell me someone left a bag of…fine, just a bag on your driveway and get mad when I show interest. … It is not morbid. It is not! If anything it’s empathetic. I want to know how they spent their final hours- … Why is there blood on your carpet? … Sorry, rug. And wait- how am I the one whose humanity is questioned when you’re only worried about your rug? … I don’t care if it’s an antique, the question stands. … You are not sticking up for your dead grandmother- you’re complaining about how hard it’ll be to clean. … Yes, I know blood is impossible. … Club soda, and I think I saw that you’re supposed to blot it, not rub. That might be just for human blood though- … Well how should I know?! Maybe it doesn’t have the same kind of blood! … Are you trying to tell me all blood’s the same? No way. … A snake. Snake’s blood is no way the same as mine. … Exactly. … Doesn’t matter- that means it’s a valid disclaimer. … Maggie I’m not going to argue about this with you. Just blot it and see what- … Fine! I’m sorry! Google it, for God’s sake, because I’ve told you what I know. … Fine, what I think I know. Why is there blood- you didn’t answer- … Why would you bring it inside?! … Maggie if there’s as much blood as you say there is there is no way you found that lumpy bag and had no idea something was inside. At the very least it would have looked like watermelon or something. … Excuse me, it IS a problem- you screamed, positively screamed at Jimmy last Fourth of July when he walked through your house holding that slice of watermelon so don’t tell me- he’s, fine, I think. Doing better anyway so- … it was a problem, Maggie and you-…Enough, Maggie, I thought we were talking about the bag of… Maggie I don’t know. Put it in the garbage can. … Yeah, because garbage can really be ruined by blood. … The garbageman isn’t going to care- and if he’s going through your garbage maybe he’ll stop. In fact- put it in my- … Fine, Maggie. Just double bag it, and then please bring the cookies, ok? … Yes, the chocolate chip. Bye Maggie.”